People are the strangest of creatures. They can be filled with so much fear and hate, and then other times with so much love and compassion. I use to consider myself a people person; someone who had lots of empathy, and a willingness to try and understand any given situation or circumstance. I use to love to be in their company and interact; Exchange idea’s, laugh and cry, all the while being open about who I am, without fear of being judged, or ever passing judgement. But something has changed in me. It could be I’m just becoming more jaded as I grow older. I hate to think that. It’s a terrible feeling. But I’m finding them more and more to be a huge disappointment.
We are all so easily hurt, and at times that can include me. However, I’ve always considered myself remarkably resilient, with the quick ability to forgive and forget. After all, isn’t that a big part of life, learning and growing. I use to marvel at some of my friends, especially the quiet one’s that kept to themselves. Weren’t they lonely? Didn’t they want to share the human experience with others? I understand them better now. They probably understood something I did not.
We are all so filled with so much mental and emotional distortion. There’s just too much information out there. Whether it’s political ideology or this very rant your reading right now. Every single thing is available and at our fingertips. I use to think that was a good thing. It’s not. It’s like trying to count to infinity. It’s boring and impossible.
I want someone to write me a letter. It could even be handwritten. I miss that personal touch. Of course who has the time. Our relationships would have to be limited to just a few. But they would have more meaning. I want someone to come visit me; stay overnight and have breakfast together. I remember a world without cell phones and text messages; without 24 hour news cycles or 1,ooo channels of shit on the tube. I remember having a pen pal and how exciting it was when that letter arrived. Simple times..
Now it’s utter chaos. We are being beat down with too much information, too many choices. The world is at our fingertips, and it was nice to have it all right here. It was nice for a moment, for a visit, but I don’t want to live there. The more time goes by the more I believe that the Native American Indians had it right. We out smarted ourselves. We took this thing way too far and now there’s no going back. The human intellect and curiosity; the desire to try and make things “better”, and ”easier” has gone too far! Unfortunately, there’s no going back. There’s not even very remote places left to go to. Anyway, I apologize for the rant. It’s just more noise, more distortion. I needed to vomit and I guess I need someone to listen.
write me…I’ll write back…Send me a photo of yourselve. Draw me a picture or compose a song and put it on a cassette tape. I have a player. I don’t care if it’s good. But it will have meaning!!!!!!
Steve Messina 110-45 Queens blvd #910, Forest Hills, NY 11375